Enough

Don't talk to me. I've had enough of this bullshit. I'm done trying to prove myself to you. I'm done trying to be perfect for you.
I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of lying to myself. I've had just about enough. I don't want to grow up to be someone I'm not.
Why do you look at me that way? Why do you act like you care? I know that you think I'm annoying. I know that you wish I would just disappear.
What if I really did just vanish? What if I was never born? What if I suddenly was just swallowed up by the darkness, right in front of your eyes?
Would you be happy then? Would you cry for me? Would you laugh and go on as if I never existed? Would you regret anything we had done in life?
What if I told you that I want to live? What if I said that I love life? What if I told you that I love you?
Would you be happy for me? Would you encourage me to keep going on? Would you turn me away? Would you scorn me? Would things be awkward?
All these what ifs and would bes just keep streaking around my mind. Maybe, just maybe, if I closed my eyes, it would all end...