I'm so dissapointed

I'm tired, I'm really tired of fighting. I'm tired of yelling. I'm tired of being mad. I'm tired of crying.
I've had it with all the bitching. I've had it with all the rumors. I've had it with the names.
I hate all the fakeness. I hate all the random messages. I hate saying bullshit.
I don't want to give up. I don't want to run away. I don't want to fall apart.
I'm scared of the future. I'm scared of being alone. I'm scared of losing everything.
I can't handle any more pressure. I can't handle retarded adults. I can't handle those expectations.

I wish I could have just one day without being sad. I wish I could just be the person everyone sees for just one day. Not even, from when I open my eyes till they close that day. Isn't that less than 24 hours? I just want to smile from my heart...